Saturday, June 11, 2011

It's close to midnight, and I'm listening to Metric on loop.


Metric is amazing. How do they do it? How do these people make such amazing music? It makes me want to cry. Such brilliance. I mean- Grow Up and Blow Away. That's wisdom right there! It's absolutely frightening, growing up, and then getting blown away by reality. Blown away by the truth, which, for all of TOK's propagation of it being the ultimate pinnacle of knowledge, is sometimes the last thing we want to hear.

I'm in the middle of my June vacation now, and I've been busy trying to finish my assortment of assignments, while struggling through a mountain of history notes. I kid you not. When I say mountain, I actually mean tremulous, foreboding piles of rainforest carnage. It's all splayed across my study room floor,  silently mocking me in its sheer volume. I can practically see Mao in my dreams, and really, he is the last person I want in my head while I'm free of his iron rule on my time. 

I know I'll get through it, though. It'll take some time, packets of yummy hazelnut coffee, inky fingers, blurry eyes, frozen grapes, and the cold blooded destruction of a small forest (I'm sorry!), but I'll make it. I will. I know I will.

Sometimes, life has a habit of flooding over me and rushing me along in it's overwhelming tide. I often forget what I'm doing here. It helps to remind myself, I reckon. In no order of importance:

1. God
Probably the only thing that keeps me going when I'm in one of those existential ruts is vaguely recalling that I have a purpose- to do my best in everything, not for myself, but so as God's little baby girl, he'll be glorified. I sometimes think of it as doing my best in everything so that people will know God is an awesome daddy.

He doesn't usually descend like a saving grace, to infuse me new found bursts of motivation. God's not a powerbar- because he's not temporary. Mostly,  he is my internal compass that keeps me in the right direction. It's all rather passive, and it often requires large amounts of discipline to not throw my notes out of the window and lose myself in one of Gerald Durrell's paradise islands.

 2. My friends
The thought of getting through all this together, all of us in IB- trudging through all of it together and emerging stronger, albeit sleep deprived and jaded, but nevertheless, armed with new ideas, dreams, and convictions- together. Battling through the IB storm is worth it because of the crew members I've found, and we are definitely sailing together in the adventure that awaits us.

(Did I say Pirates wasn't that terrific? Depp was a swashbuckling darling, and as always, he charmed with his wonderfully kooky mannerisms. But the plot felt slightly ridiculous and contrived at times.  If it had been one of Neil Gaiman's movie adaptations, I would have sat back and soaked it all in. But it wasn't. It was Pirates of the Caribbean, and I was expecting raw, gritty, and slightly gory pirate warfare. Being assaulted with a carelessly developed side-plot and a seemingly random additions made the plot seem highly disorganized and unnecessarily cluttered. Although could be that I missed Orlando and Keira and I'm being shamelessly biased, or those two retarded pirates who popped their eyeballs were not there to provide some slapstick comedy. Whatever it is, it was lucky that what the plot lacked in originality and clarity, dear Johnny redeemed with his screwball logic and wit<3 LOVE JOHNNAAYE)

But I digress.

3. My family
I want to do my parents proud because they've put in so much effort for me. Plus I want to bring them to Corfu island when I have enough money. AND MONEY MUST BE EARNED SOMEHOW. Unfortunately. If only I had my own little sailboat- I'd sail away with them. I'll be the captain, and they'll climb aboard. (I love Styx<3)

On another note, I've just watched two movies- Crash by the brilliant Paul Haggis, and Inglorious Basterds. Two words: Mind.Blown. Or is that one? Ah, whatever.

On board I'm The Captain
So climb aboard
We'll search for tomorrow
On every shore.
-Come Sail Away. Styx.

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