Saturday, December 20, 2008

Letters To Santa

Dear Santa,
Last year, i did not receive the 15000 items i requested for Christmas. I can only conclude that your secretarial staff must be a bunch of overpaid and woefully unprepared temps and my letter was misfiled.

To avoid a similar disaster this year, just write me a check for 5million dollars and i'll buy the stuff myself.

Love,
Calvin.

How can you not love him?
You mightn't wanna live with him, considering he's a fantastically and morbidly insane, but you've GOT to love him.

I love him to the MAX.
Anyone who appreciates Calvin and his brilliantly unbelievable wit and his shocking stupidity and incompetence at maths is someone who has my respect.

Yessir.
Calvin And His Tiger FTW!
(I'm using this phrase much too much. Thanks alot, WeiQing.)


I watched Twilight yesterday, just before my skilled monopoly at the Air Hockey table. I so own at Air Hockey. SO OWN. It was a left and a right and i blocked every shooting pellet that came whizzing towards my vulnerable goal!

AND I WON!
By a mile, i tell you.
Veron and the guys had no chance. It was me and i was on a roll and JUST FOR THE RECORD my goal wasn't dysfunctional small so the puck would get stuck every time it hit it. Dont blame the goal for rooting for me! Cant blame me if me and me goal like to work together!

Evidently, the other goal was disloyal and every score was unanticipated.

It was a europhic win for the first time champ, yours truly.

Back to Twilight which was a TREBLE disappointment.

First off, the entire first half of the movie was listlessly and lethargically moving along, at this sluggishly passive pace, and all the gorgeous boy and girl could do was muck around, throw trees around, talk amazingly slow and ponder over the mysteries of the other.

I mean HEY PRETTY PEOPLE GET OVER YOURSELVES.

It was so slow moving i felt like poking it in the rear really painfully with a stick to prod it faster or to just burst it.


The book, by far (and this is REALLY FAR by the way. So far you cant even see this Sun Wu Kong's magic eyes.) outshone the movie.

Secondly, it was painful to watch the 2 characters whisper to each other in their emotional voices all the time. Granted it was sorta entertaining because DAMN Robert was the really hot and vapirish, but hey, the zoom-on-on you-gorgeous-faces-and thing got old after a few times.

Thirdly, the kissing scene was SO soft porn.

Okay i dont know why this goes under The Bad Things About Twilight, but i bet you'll want to watch it now. Sickos.

But really, the movie in my head didnt have them kissing so passionately and so concupiscent-ishly until they got married. Gee. But dont know why im complaining about this though. They both looked so amazing when they kissed (damn those beautiful people) and true to the whole Go Slow And Boring effect, the kiss was ree-aallyy slow.

Not that it was boring.

Slow kisses, are just so - so- so. SO.


AND FOURTHLY! I think i said 3 before but then again i dont hate the kissing scene so much anymore. Too sexy.

The movie did not even have a theme.
Theme-less movies are destined to die a cheap and sad life. (Not that Twilight did but thats because Rob the Hot saves the show)

It wasnt a romance, well not really. Okay it was (and there was so much chemistry between those 2 it was practically electicity.) but hello, THE BEST ROMANCE EPIC AFTER TITANIC?! *Snigger*

What a laugh.

No one beats my Leonardo, ESPECIALLY not some emotional, hormornal, softspoken, boring, albeit devastatingly-nice-to-look (gosh i tell you, his eyes go so deep into his face its sorta surreal) at VAMPIRE.

Yeah so well.
Twilight wasnt meant to be a movie anyway. SO unsuited. Honestly, the whole book was choke full of the lovesick teenagers thoughts. Good to read but painful to watch.

I didnt even make me happy because the set was so dark and eerie.

If anything, ITS ARTEMIS FOWL that should be made into a movie.
Not that anyone would beable to portray Sexy Genius Boy's cold look or intelligent eyes. And after Twilight i think Artemis was fare better in my head than on screen.

YAY ARTEMIS AND CALVIN.

Question:
What important evnt took place on December 16, 1773?

Calvinised Answer:
I do not believe in linear time. There is no present and no future. All in one and exsistnce in the timporal sense in illusory. This question, therefore, is meaningless and impossible to anwer.

Smart dysfuntional kids FTW!

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