Friday, December 05, 2008

THE LAND OF SUSHI AND GEISHAS AND YEAH I WENT TO JAPAN AND NOW IM BACK!

I can only say that The Japan Trip was great.

There is so much to say!
I am in my pajamees and at a complete loss for words at how to start describing my long trip.

Its 3 in the afternoon Amanda! One might say. Why are you in your pajamees in the middle of the day?

Technically, none of your business, but i'll tell you anyway. My pajamees are comfortable, so thats why i wear them at home. If i dont go out, i wear my pajamees all the way until i go to sleep again.

Pajamees are awesome.



MY JAPAN TRIP

Day one's
plane ride proves uneventful except that my sister puked her guts out and i couldnt sleep. JAL- Japan Airlines is mighty cool because it has a TV and i was watching GET SMART and every so often would burst into bouts of uncontrollable chortles which would be followed by my grandfather pissed off SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHs.

Upon arriving at Narita (Japan) Airport, i cross my toes, eyes, and fingers, and butt and everything else that can be crossed that our tour group will have cool and funny people our age (preferably a *ahem* nice boy and his cute baby sister) who we would immediately hit off with, and then my parents would talk to their parents, we would become fast friends and have loads of fun on tour together screaming on the rides, and sitting the Jaws ride and Jurrassic park and all the crazy stuff and the 6 days in Japan would be so out-of-this-world awesome that i would retell it to my little grandkids when im old and gesture to my old and distinguished husband and say "and thats how i met your grandfather".


OMG right.

All the crossing of my body parts were of no use, however, because fate decided that the lanky-ishly attractive boy who was sitting 2 rows diagonally in front of me with his older sister in the plane was in a tour group which as luck had it, WAS NOT MINE.

Instead i wistfully watched, sitting on the cold airport floor, writing furiously into my notebook. Our tourguide was MIA, and he walked in 15 minutes late, long after the other 2 tour groups had left. One with Lanky Boy and one with a hilarious tour guide who could speak english and talked really loud and kept guffawing.


Our tour guide on the other hand, was strictly Jap-Chinese-Canto speaking
and he was 52. (I know because my dad asked when he was promoting a face product- my dad bought it cause he looked 45)



Plus my mom wasnt with us cause she was still stuck in Thailand.


As i bemoaned our plight into my notebook, my realised that the only people left in the hall (it was 7 in the morning) were this family with haughty looking girls who looked terribly unapprochable and a plump-ish 13 year old boy. And a couple who didnt speak english and another old couple.

Plus a family with a kid called Valerie.

What a bunch, my travel partners in the next 6 days to come.


I decided that since my tourgroup were proving slightly disappointing, i would have loads of fun with my siblings instead.

AND FUN WE HAD.

Yeah. Japan was awesome.

My brothers first indignant comment upon walking out of the airport was
"WHY IS THERE NO SMOKE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH!?"

Then i realised.
Hoo baby, my family is all i need.
They rule.

We sat on the bus and our tourguide (called SO-SAN) taught us some Japanese words. He wasnt so bad after all, quite funny, albeit slightly oldish.

We visited a park which was freezing and then a shopping district in Osaka. It had this arcade which was SUBER FRIKING HUGE. There was this huge electronic horse betting racing game thingy, which mroe than 30 people could play together and this fantastic drum set which i was pretenting to play as i vigorously slammed my head back and forth to the imaginary beat in my head.

This little Japanese girl tried to mimick me and it was the awfulcutest thing ever.


BEST PART OF THE DAY, OF COURSE.
Was Universelo. In So-San's words. UNIVERSERLO HEN HAO WAN DE.

Hahahahahaha.

It caught on, honestly.
When my mom met us on the second day (her company chartered a flight out to Singapore for all the 130 EM people stuck in Thailand), she got quite annoyed and kept protesting that it was UNIVERSAL STUDIO and would we please call it that instead of constantly saying UNIVERSALO WAS AWESOME! And it was.

HAHAHAHA.

Universalo was crazy amazing. The beautifully projected surroundings were so real and authentic and awestriking it was almost like a real street itself.

There were loads of people, and when i say loads, i mean TONS and TONS. We took the 4D shriek show and ET adventure, which honestly were slightly wimpy rides.

Then since we wanted some sorta exciting ride, we made for BACK TO THE FUTURE which looked promising. The queue, in the end was alot more exciting than the ride itself. BECAUSE THE RIDE WAS A SIMULATOR.

A SIMULATOR CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. Anyway.

It was a weekend see, so there was loads of Japanese School People around which meant there were also loads of Japanese School Boys around which meant, well. Yeah. Shant elaborate.

Japanese School Boys just look unfairly good in their dark winter uniform blazers. Guys in suits are killers.

So anyway, we queued like an hour and a half, expecting the bestest ride ever (I mean Back To The Future! How far wrong can you go with that!) but in the end they lead us to a room and we realise, it is a simulator.

Gah.

Our last ride is Holloywood's Dream Ride, which is the scariest shit i have ever sat on. SCARIEST SHIT.

I thought my heart was going to fall out of my head! (HAAHAH, House Bunny anyone?) Almost shat in my pants, really. It was crazy. AND MY BROTHER WAS SITTING BESIDE ME WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT.

It was one gut-fall-out-of-you drop after another and it was absolutely terrifing.

But it was fun.

Day 2 in KYOTO had me feeling very content, cause mainly i

1. Ate a superbly authentic Japanese meal

2. Saw the Lanky Boy at the Nishijin Textile Center (because i reckon their tour was very similar to ours just that our food is yummier. So claims my mom) again, and the way he pulls off that black jacket is SMEXY.)

3. Xi Bi man at the textile center wrote my name amanda on a piece of antique looking paper this small. Okay loads smaller than that. He isnt called Xi Bi (Thin Brush) man for nothing. It was so small i had to use a mangifiying glass to see it.

NO KIDDING!

It was somthing like this _. Yeah. Like a line. But it was actually my name. He wrote it for me cause i kept awww-ing at his drawings with his Xi Bi.

His name is Toshio and he was really nice.
After XiBi man, we went to watch a Kimono fashion show, which is summed up by a cute old lady who was standing beside us.

"Mang Mang, Kia kia kia, Kia kee, kia loh. Mang mang eh. Pspt!"

Translations:
Slow slow, walk here walk there. Slow Slow. Psspt.

And she hobbled away.
It was so hilarious, the way she said it! I was in stitches.

4. I sat on a Sugoku Romantic Train to visit Arashiyama and the maple leaves (y'shoulda heard my brother. MAPLE LEAVES MAPLE LEAVES! I KNOW CAUSE I PLAY MAPLE!) were beautiful because it was autumn. The view was indescribably stunning. MAGNIFICENT, i tell you. Too mind blowing for words.

The red and orange and the astonishing bursts of the smorgasbord of colours. It was amazing. The paranomic view of Kyoto at the Kiyomizu Temple was spectacular too, but it was too cold to enjoy for long.

DAY 3, was enjoyably spent in HAKONE.

First the bullet train, which was actually rather boring and unbullet-like. Talk about unstimulating.

The rest of the day can only be described in overused, overrated superlatives.

FIRST UP: TSME (The Smelliest Mountian Ever), which is pretty much selfexplanatory. The itinerary describes it as i quote "Owakudani Boiling Valley- sulphurous boiling ponds, where steam from the boiling valley makes you feel that you are out of this world." OF PURE SMELLYNESS THAT IS.

Honestly. The pure putridity was formidable.

The smell was so foul i was retching inside my mouth. It was overwhelming, it was terrible, it was foul to the point of being the most gross thing id ever had the misfortune to sniff.

My brother managed to describe the noxious, sulphuric odour quite aptly. "Its smells like a thousand dog farts in here!"


I would add, cow farts, human who eat loads of beans farts and all a mix of all kinds of silent farts, cause they all say silent farts are the smelliest.

I can safely say it was the smelliest thing i have ever smelt in my whole life. AND IM NOT EXAGGERATING.

And then there were those people eating the eggs cooked in the horrible smelling boiling sulphur and they eat it for LONGEVITY.

The eggs are BLACK for goodness sake.
Its so gross.

THEN: It was Mount Fugi, where it was horribly cold, the bitter, cutting, icy, cold, and on the way up the mountain (it was pukey and winding) Valerie and Markie kept bugging me to play Hadugen and Jikohpah with them but i was so awful tired i suggested playing The Sleeping Game, which is my most successful and ingenious attempt at game creating yet.

At night we slept at an old school, rustic looking hotel with tatami mats and ate true traditional cultural JAPANESE NABE (steamboat) dinnerin out yukatas. The yukatas were for going tot he hotspring in the hotel.

Hot spring was awsome though NO CLOTHES ALLOWED.

Yeah. Nothing. Bare it all, baby.
Lucky the hotel was private and small and the only stranger in there was this lady with ENORMOUS boobs. Not that i actually looked!!!! I WOULDNT.
It was just so IN YOUR FACE yknow.

Yeah well. It was really nice, like soaking in a tub, only nicer.

DAY 4 IN TOKYOOOOOHHH.

Ah, it was full speeeeedaheadddddddddddd shopping today.
SHOP SHOP SHOP.


WE BUY LOADS AND LOADS OF FOODIES.

ANd goodies.

And did i say already? Dammit those Japanese Guy Students were irritatingly goodlooking in their school uniform.

Maybe its just just the hormone thingy, but i think its the uniform. Really.
Also we go to Aqua City Odaiba and theres so Fake Statue of Liberty there which cracked me up.
HAHAHA, like dudes, s'not that difficult to think up your own icon!

DAY 6 IN TOKYO DISNEY OUR LAST DAY

Im losing steam here, my heads spinning slightly from starring at the computer so long.

PERSONALITIES REALLY SHINE THROUGH IN DISNEY LAND.

Personality type 1: Mummy Rusher
My mom was rushing ALL OVER THE PLACE. WE HAVE TO COVER EVERYTHING was her motto. And a good one at that. The entrance cost a bomb and we had to get our money's worth, innit?

Map in hand, she hustled us all over and complained that our guide was being too slow and wasnt giving good tips and i quote

"When Jiu Jiu came here his guide told them excatcly how to go and which to take first and second before the queues started coming and got them to the place first thing in the morning, and then the gates opened and his guide said CHOING AH! And look at our guide! He says its okay to wait till everyone goes in first! Geeser!"

Then, of course, we have
Personality 2: Daddy-Lets-Have-A-Good-Time-And-Chillax
My dad, as you can see above, walked leisurely, defending our tourguide, and peering superitiously over my moms shoulder occasionally, saying ITS A HOLIDAY! TAKE IT EASY, DARLING.

Opposite attract, i guess?

Thanks to mum,
We sat on Western River railroad, Big Thunder Mountian twice, JUngle cruise, Peter Pan Flight, Its a Small World (which my mom said i took like 7 times in Anaheim when i was 4- NOSTALGIAAA!!), Minnie's House, Gadgets Go Coaster (easily the most fun ride ever), Space mountian, Buzz Lightyear's Astroblaster, and Mirco Adventure.

TOONTOWN WAS THE COOLEST.

And really, if you every go there, GADGETS GO COASTER IS THE BESTEST BESTEST RIDE EVER.
It was small and all, but of all the coasters, it was the most crazy fun.

Will miss Japan's toilet the most.
Say "Tolei wa doku deska" to see one if you visit there.
SAYONARA!!

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