Monday, December 29, 2008

FOIE GRAS

Apparently its an acquired taste.

NO.

EVIDENTLY. Its a acquired taste.
Sniff.

Whats the big fat deal about swanky, uneconomical, EXORBITANT french cuisine anyway? They always talk about it and say WHOOPEE DO its upper end, exclusive food for the elegant, chic people.

HELLO.
Well then, they must really enjoy eating baby food.
Cause thats what goose liver tastes like- and looks like. (after you've poked at it for a while.)

Gross and mushy. And its pretty disappointing because they serve it all done up and yummylishious and it smells like superbly fantastic. But then it dawns on you that this is LIVER. OF A GOOSE. Or duck.

Which pretty much annihilates the whole glamorous food thing.

BUT ANYWAY.
Today i went on a date at swanky EH QUI NOX. Hows that for EX QUI SITE yo!

Thats EQUINOX at Swiss Hotel.

I must say, it was quite an exhilarating experience cause the waiters were perversely polite, so much so one felt like smashing something, or climbing on your chair and yelling "IM A PSYCHOTIC SAVAGE! HA HA HA." really loud just to see how well-trained they were at handling crazy people reverentially.

(Erm- hey potential husbands out there, its not that i would EVER EVER do that, stand on a chair and yell IM A PSYCHOTIC SAVAGE HA HA HA that is. So put your anxiety riddled heart and at peace if you EVER EVER want to bring me there to propose to me in future.

Not that i would ACCEPT the unimaginative proposal, because putting the ring in creme brulee or my desert so i would choke on it isnt exactly original. In fact, it would run the VERY big risk of being cliched.

In fact, now, at this immature adolescent age, i would want a proposal at the beach. I always thought beaches were really beautiful. We could ride a double bike and wheeeeeee speed off into the horizon.

I digress.

Theatrics nonwithstanding, though, i really think ring-in-desert is really sad and unromantic and pathetically comical.
Lots of things could go wrong.

Scenario 1
Man- Have your desert dear, its wonderful.
Woman- Im really full, sweetie. (rubs tummy) Why dont you have it?
Man- But you must eat it! Do have a little, darling, its really fantastic! (Sweating alittle)
Woman- I couldnt eat another bite, baby, you must, MUST, have it instead.
Man- (Expletives abound under breath)
Woman- DID YOU JUST DAMN ME?
Man- No honey, i would never! I love you! Honey, i was going to propose to you tonight! Sweetie please, dont hit me with your snakeshin handbag, it really hurts! Listen to me, honey, liste-
Woman- I always knew you were an ANAL RETENTIVE MACHOCHISTIC PIG! You terrible (and this is spat like vermin) MAN.


Scenario 2
Man- Have your desert dear, its wonderful.

Woman- Mm. Yumyumm.

(Moments later)

Man- So, how is it, sweetie?

Woman- (Silence.) (Flaps hands ridiculuously and cluches her throat painfully. Her eyes are bulging out of her face and skin is turning a slight purple)

Man- HONEY!

Woman- (Makes a 'i love you' sign with her hands and shudders while she drops to the floor, her eye balls ballooning, terrified and striken. Evidently she was choking and is now dead.)

Man- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (Reaches for butter knife and stabs himself, only to realise it is too blunt. Plunges the crab pincer into wrist and lies on wife, convulsing in pain.)

END

My my, a budding scriptwriter, albeit a extraordinarily sadistically melodramatic one.


I DIGRESS.

So i stuffed myself with foie gras, and creme brulee (YAHHHH REMEMBER HSM), fondue in dark choc and normal choc and cheese, franche-comte, saint pauline, echire, fromage de monsieur- CHEESES and terrine foie gras, Sri Lankan crabs, and mussels and soba and gingerbread houses and muffins and fresh prawn, and SALMON!

And this, my friends, was the appetiser.
I know right, but the main course was anticlimatic, i tell you. ANTI CLIMATIC.

The portebello mushroom i ordered looked like compacted rubbish with sauce spewed all over. Its was terrifiCALLY terrible. Yeah yeah, blame the girl and her cheapo taste buds.

But honestly. Dont get it if you go there. I reckon they made it really terrible tasting cause their law must go The Worst Tasting Stuff Must Be the Most Expensive Expensive To Con People Into Believing Its Swanky Cuisine.

It was awful. My dad liked it though, so i blame him for stopping that High Class Acquired Taste gene. He ate my compacted rubbish while i enjoyed his duck. LEG. No more livers, thank you very much.


Equinox is a nice place to eat, i must say, we were 70 storeys up and the spectacular view of the southern-ish tip of Singapore was breathtaking. I was imagining i was a BFG (Thats Big Friendly Giant, ya poor, childhoodless, deprived, RoaldDahl-less kids) and i was mimicking picking up little people walking on the roads, scurrying around in their little lives.




Ahyes.
Sleepover at Bings was more than a BLAST, and at the risk of making a pathetic pun, WE BLASTED EACH OTHER AT LASER QUEST. (right, that did sound rather bad)

Yoho yoho.
I nearly died of the neckache sleeping on beanbags caused me. AND i nearly died because my brother accidentally almost drowned me in the pool. And lemme tell you, it was scary shit.

Altogether it was awful fun.
Love the lot of them.

BABIES TILL NOW MATES FTW!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Letters To Santa

Dear Santa,
Last year, i did not receive the 15000 items i requested for Christmas. I can only conclude that your secretarial staff must be a bunch of overpaid and woefully unprepared temps and my letter was misfiled.

To avoid a similar disaster this year, just write me a check for 5million dollars and i'll buy the stuff myself.

Love,
Calvin.

How can you not love him?
You mightn't wanna live with him, considering he's a fantastically and morbidly insane, but you've GOT to love him.

I love him to the MAX.
Anyone who appreciates Calvin and his brilliantly unbelievable wit and his shocking stupidity and incompetence at maths is someone who has my respect.

Yessir.
Calvin And His Tiger FTW!
(I'm using this phrase much too much. Thanks alot, WeiQing.)


I watched Twilight yesterday, just before my skilled monopoly at the Air Hockey table. I so own at Air Hockey. SO OWN. It was a left and a right and i blocked every shooting pellet that came whizzing towards my vulnerable goal!

AND I WON!
By a mile, i tell you.
Veron and the guys had no chance. It was me and i was on a roll and JUST FOR THE RECORD my goal wasn't dysfunctional small so the puck would get stuck every time it hit it. Dont blame the goal for rooting for me! Cant blame me if me and me goal like to work together!

Evidently, the other goal was disloyal and every score was unanticipated.

It was a europhic win for the first time champ, yours truly.

Back to Twilight which was a TREBLE disappointment.

First off, the entire first half of the movie was listlessly and lethargically moving along, at this sluggishly passive pace, and all the gorgeous boy and girl could do was muck around, throw trees around, talk amazingly slow and ponder over the mysteries of the other.

I mean HEY PRETTY PEOPLE GET OVER YOURSELVES.

It was so slow moving i felt like poking it in the rear really painfully with a stick to prod it faster or to just burst it.


The book, by far (and this is REALLY FAR by the way. So far you cant even see this Sun Wu Kong's magic eyes.) outshone the movie.

Secondly, it was painful to watch the 2 characters whisper to each other in their emotional voices all the time. Granted it was sorta entertaining because DAMN Robert was the really hot and vapirish, but hey, the zoom-on-on you-gorgeous-faces-and thing got old after a few times.

Thirdly, the kissing scene was SO soft porn.

Okay i dont know why this goes under The Bad Things About Twilight, but i bet you'll want to watch it now. Sickos.

But really, the movie in my head didnt have them kissing so passionately and so concupiscent-ishly until they got married. Gee. But dont know why im complaining about this though. They both looked so amazing when they kissed (damn those beautiful people) and true to the whole Go Slow And Boring effect, the kiss was ree-aallyy slow.

Not that it was boring.

Slow kisses, are just so - so- so. SO.


AND FOURTHLY! I think i said 3 before but then again i dont hate the kissing scene so much anymore. Too sexy.

The movie did not even have a theme.
Theme-less movies are destined to die a cheap and sad life. (Not that Twilight did but thats because Rob the Hot saves the show)

It wasnt a romance, well not really. Okay it was (and there was so much chemistry between those 2 it was practically electicity.) but hello, THE BEST ROMANCE EPIC AFTER TITANIC?! *Snigger*

What a laugh.

No one beats my Leonardo, ESPECIALLY not some emotional, hormornal, softspoken, boring, albeit devastatingly-nice-to-look (gosh i tell you, his eyes go so deep into his face its sorta surreal) at VAMPIRE.

Yeah so well.
Twilight wasnt meant to be a movie anyway. SO unsuited. Honestly, the whole book was choke full of the lovesick teenagers thoughts. Good to read but painful to watch.

I didnt even make me happy because the set was so dark and eerie.

If anything, ITS ARTEMIS FOWL that should be made into a movie.
Not that anyone would beable to portray Sexy Genius Boy's cold look or intelligent eyes. And after Twilight i think Artemis was fare better in my head than on screen.

YAY ARTEMIS AND CALVIN.

Question:
What important evnt took place on December 16, 1773?

Calvinised Answer:
I do not believe in linear time. There is no present and no future. All in one and exsistnce in the timporal sense in illusory. This question, therefore, is meaningless and impossible to anwer.

Smart dysfuntional kids FTW!

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Top Of The World

I'm on the TOP OF THE WORLD
Lookin, DOWN ON CREATION
and the only ex-plahnation i caan find!

Is the love that i've found,
ever since you've been around,

Youre love puts me at
THE TOP OF THE WORLD!

The Carpenters ROCKS MY CROCS!
(Honestly. Socks is SO last season.)

Really. Im so into this song because its so beautiful. And Karen's voice is superrrrrb. Its suits me! ITS MY SONG!

If my life had a theme song, this would be it!
THIS! THIS AMAZING SONG!


And Vanessa The Symmetrical Face dedicated a whole blog post to yours truly. Maybe thats why IM ON THE TOP OF THE WORLD!

Im so happy and touched:D
(Cue :awwwwwwwwwww)

Vanessas the coolest crap ever.
Really. Sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me! I was so touched (at the nice parts. some parts are downright untrue, SO.)

Some parts arent very flattering either, i must say.
And most things i dont completely agree with.

LIKE HELLO.
I dont smile like my jaw is unhinged, for one! That pose is purely art! Its original! At least i dont make goo goo eyes at the camera and puff out my cheeks and bend in my chin to enhance my eye volume.

PLUS. I dont understand why everyone identifies me with grossness.

What is it with them and that word and me?
My unique spirit... my personarlity...
Everything that makes me, me, summed up in a banal, sad comment of the suburban contemporary lifestyle, GROSS?!

SOME CREDIT HERE!!


Okay, get ready. This is going to be the grossest post you can ever imagine. I am about to say the grossest thing you can think of. Like seriously gross. Like so gross it's scary. Like the epitome of grossness. Or should I say ehpeetoemee of grossness?? HAHA. yup i'm sure you've guessed it.
AMANDA LEEEEE!


HAHAHAHA. OOPS. Sorry Amanda but yeah like Dionne says, you are quite gross. Like really. :D Okay la, to even dedicate a whole post to you Amanda, it means I actually love you deep down inside my heart. Haha.

So anyway, I was actually feeling horribly upset earlier. I felt like crying, felt like dying. Just felt like lying in bed for the rest of the week and emo-ing. (okay maybe not that bad, but anyway) I was confused and despairing about my stupid life, when these magical words pop into my head. it was from an sms Cleo sent me the other day.

"Go read amdl's blog!"

I was all who's amdl?? And she said "Amanda Lee la stupid!" and i went ohhhh! Haha. But never went. Heh.

So a few minutes ago, when I was all down in the dumps, hating myself, blue like blue's clues, I followed that piece of brilliant advice. I arrived at Amanda's blog to see 'BOYS BOYS ALL AROUND' found it superbly apt.

Haha. Her post was really funny. And then I scrolled down and saw something about Amanda singing and started laughing to myself because you know howsome ppl exaggerate stuff on their blogs to make their life seem interesting?? Well I know for a fact that Amanda wasn't, because I've heard her before. (and probably screamed the same things at her! heh)

After which, I embarked on her revelation wave that her friends were all relatively attractive. I agreed with a lot of her observations but I think the same thing that struck Cleo immediately struck me. I was like "Hello, my mole's only on the left side of my cheek, symmetrical?? AMANDA LEE FAIL PRIMARY 2 MATHS!" I mean like hello, Amanda?? OMG, I JUST REALISED THAT RHYMES WITH 'HELLO PANDA'! :O (sorry, anyway)

she then went on to talk about Dionne calling her gross and again I recall this gross friend I have and begin to chuckle to myself. I shall attempt to list all the things i find gross about Amanda.


(NOTE: This list is definitely not exhaustible. She makes new things gross everyday)


1. The way she throws a frisbee.
- She gets into this stance with one leg behind the other, her back arched, her boobs (however much she has) jutting out grossly, her eyes squinted, her mouth slightly parted, her gaze focused in absolute seriousness on some random spot on the flagpole, the frisbee held above her head, parallel to it like she's trying to block the sun.


Then she flicks her wrist, at the same time jerking her body grossly and emitting an extremely unelegant grunt from her strange mouth. She then straightens up and smiles gleefully at everyone around her like they're supposed to be applauding.


2. Her colour.
- Yeah I know this isn't her fault, and neither is this original because everyone makes fun of her colour, but well... She's like, black. I mean, she's the only chinese girl I know so far who has had racist indian jokes told about her. She's hilarious. Then again, as I was telling her that day, her colour makes her look mouth-wateringly delicious. She's the colour of chocolate fudge brownies, a whole pot of chocolate fondue, honey roasted chicken and and and... chocolate chips. Mm mm..



3. Her ego.
- Amanda Lee has got an insanely huge ego. Especially so because the ego is completely unjustified. I mean, she thinks she sings awesomely well, she thinks she is the most beautiful woman in the world, she thinks that the things she does is not gross at all. YADA YADA YADA.


(okay Amanda, on a side note, I'm not saying all these things in a mean way to spite you kay. I just find it awesomely hilarious. Please, I still love you like nuts. heh.)

Oh. and she thinks smiling with her mouth wide open makes her look prettier. Amanda Lee Zi Yi is pretty enough to look nice in pictures even without her mouth gaping open like he hinge of her jaw is broken.


4. Her horse laugh.
- Hi Nat, I'm so agreeing wiht you here. Her horse laugh is definitely an important factor which makes her an uncontested president of the 'GOTGC' - 'Grossest Of The Grossest Club'. But then of course, there are those times where her laughter is so cute it's infectious.


So here Amanda, I shall repeat that you are really an excellent friend. An amazing girl who is really nice and sacrificial. You're so amusingly hilarious. If not for you, I'd be sad so much more often.

And other than adding amusement to any conversation, my dear, you're a wonderful listener. You always make me feel better when I share stuff with you. (: Love you girl. :D
(look i even made this post green in honour of you! :D)



HAHAHAHHA.
Okay i have to admit its awfully funny.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.
But completely (okay not completely. the part about me being pretty evidently makes some sort of sense) untrue.
REALLY!

SO ANYWAY.

Yesterday i went cycling to the zoo.

The zoo.

THE ZOO.

I repeat the ZOO.

Yeah. From all the way here, i rode to the zoo. About 30km approx, i think. From 1030 in the morning, i rode around the park (10km), then me and my dad made for the zoo.

IT WAS FANTASTIC.

Not as good as midnight cycling, but the price wasnt as high, so i guess it evens out.


My thighs were yelling, and my shoulders were screaming and my back was cramping and my er, lower part of my anatomy was hurting like THE CRAZIEST SHIT EVER.

But i ploughed on and damn, the feeling of satisfaction was well. SATISFIYING.

If you havent already read about it in my earlier post, (about me being rendered infertile), im going to honestly say that i probably cannt ride another bike in a whole month.

Makes me wonder how Armstong had kids.
Really. Betcha wouldnt have thought he did!

BUT HE DOES!

One kid called Luke and twin girls whose names i cannot remember for the life of me.

BUT DAMMIT.
HOW IN THE WORLD?!

Its honestly amazing.
Twins too.
TWINS!!


Oh and by the way, Frannie got confirmed today. ALong with Lynerd, and Jordana and Chngster and LOADS of other people like Chengmeis and Esther almost everyone catholic i know from school.

GUESS WHAT FRANNIES CONFIRMATION NAME IS!!!
Omg, i was so proud of her i almost kissed her.
Evidently i have had such an impact on her life!

Sometimes i surprise myself.

FRANCINE AMANDA GOH!
(Notice the bolded, enlarged, coloured in word)

Love ya, Fran!

Friday, December 05, 2008

THE LAND OF SUSHI AND GEISHAS AND YEAH I WENT TO JAPAN AND NOW IM BACK!

I can only say that The Japan Trip was great.

There is so much to say!
I am in my pajamees and at a complete loss for words at how to start describing my long trip.

Its 3 in the afternoon Amanda! One might say. Why are you in your pajamees in the middle of the day?

Technically, none of your business, but i'll tell you anyway. My pajamees are comfortable, so thats why i wear them at home. If i dont go out, i wear my pajamees all the way until i go to sleep again.

Pajamees are awesome.



MY JAPAN TRIP

Day one's
plane ride proves uneventful except that my sister puked her guts out and i couldnt sleep. JAL- Japan Airlines is mighty cool because it has a TV and i was watching GET SMART and every so often would burst into bouts of uncontrollable chortles which would be followed by my grandfather pissed off SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHs.

Upon arriving at Narita (Japan) Airport, i cross my toes, eyes, and fingers, and butt and everything else that can be crossed that our tour group will have cool and funny people our age (preferably a *ahem* nice boy and his cute baby sister) who we would immediately hit off with, and then my parents would talk to their parents, we would become fast friends and have loads of fun on tour together screaming on the rides, and sitting the Jaws ride and Jurrassic park and all the crazy stuff and the 6 days in Japan would be so out-of-this-world awesome that i would retell it to my little grandkids when im old and gesture to my old and distinguished husband and say "and thats how i met your grandfather".


OMG right.

All the crossing of my body parts were of no use, however, because fate decided that the lanky-ishly attractive boy who was sitting 2 rows diagonally in front of me with his older sister in the plane was in a tour group which as luck had it, WAS NOT MINE.

Instead i wistfully watched, sitting on the cold airport floor, writing furiously into my notebook. Our tourguide was MIA, and he walked in 15 minutes late, long after the other 2 tour groups had left. One with Lanky Boy and one with a hilarious tour guide who could speak english and talked really loud and kept guffawing.


Our tour guide on the other hand, was strictly Jap-Chinese-Canto speaking
and he was 52. (I know because my dad asked when he was promoting a face product- my dad bought it cause he looked 45)



Plus my mom wasnt with us cause she was still stuck in Thailand.


As i bemoaned our plight into my notebook, my realised that the only people left in the hall (it was 7 in the morning) were this family with haughty looking girls who looked terribly unapprochable and a plump-ish 13 year old boy. And a couple who didnt speak english and another old couple.

Plus a family with a kid called Valerie.

What a bunch, my travel partners in the next 6 days to come.


I decided that since my tourgroup were proving slightly disappointing, i would have loads of fun with my siblings instead.

AND FUN WE HAD.

Yeah. Japan was awesome.

My brothers first indignant comment upon walking out of the airport was
"WHY IS THERE NO SMOKE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH!?"

Then i realised.
Hoo baby, my family is all i need.
They rule.

We sat on the bus and our tourguide (called SO-SAN) taught us some Japanese words. He wasnt so bad after all, quite funny, albeit slightly oldish.

We visited a park which was freezing and then a shopping district in Osaka. It had this arcade which was SUBER FRIKING HUGE. There was this huge electronic horse betting racing game thingy, which mroe than 30 people could play together and this fantastic drum set which i was pretenting to play as i vigorously slammed my head back and forth to the imaginary beat in my head.

This little Japanese girl tried to mimick me and it was the awfulcutest thing ever.


BEST PART OF THE DAY, OF COURSE.
Was Universelo. In So-San's words. UNIVERSERLO HEN HAO WAN DE.

Hahahahahaha.

It caught on, honestly.
When my mom met us on the second day (her company chartered a flight out to Singapore for all the 130 EM people stuck in Thailand), she got quite annoyed and kept protesting that it was UNIVERSAL STUDIO and would we please call it that instead of constantly saying UNIVERSALO WAS AWESOME! And it was.

HAHAHAHA.

Universalo was crazy amazing. The beautifully projected surroundings were so real and authentic and awestriking it was almost like a real street itself.

There were loads of people, and when i say loads, i mean TONS and TONS. We took the 4D shriek show and ET adventure, which honestly were slightly wimpy rides.

Then since we wanted some sorta exciting ride, we made for BACK TO THE FUTURE which looked promising. The queue, in the end was alot more exciting than the ride itself. BECAUSE THE RIDE WAS A SIMULATOR.

A SIMULATOR CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. Anyway.

It was a weekend see, so there was loads of Japanese School People around which meant there were also loads of Japanese School Boys around which meant, well. Yeah. Shant elaborate.

Japanese School Boys just look unfairly good in their dark winter uniform blazers. Guys in suits are killers.

So anyway, we queued like an hour and a half, expecting the bestest ride ever (I mean Back To The Future! How far wrong can you go with that!) but in the end they lead us to a room and we realise, it is a simulator.

Gah.

Our last ride is Holloywood's Dream Ride, which is the scariest shit i have ever sat on. SCARIEST SHIT.

I thought my heart was going to fall out of my head! (HAAHAH, House Bunny anyone?) Almost shat in my pants, really. It was crazy. AND MY BROTHER WAS SITTING BESIDE ME WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT.

It was one gut-fall-out-of-you drop after another and it was absolutely terrifing.

But it was fun.

Day 2 in KYOTO had me feeling very content, cause mainly i

1. Ate a superbly authentic Japanese meal

2. Saw the Lanky Boy at the Nishijin Textile Center (because i reckon their tour was very similar to ours just that our food is yummier. So claims my mom) again, and the way he pulls off that black jacket is SMEXY.)

3. Xi Bi man at the textile center wrote my name amanda on a piece of antique looking paper this small. Okay loads smaller than that. He isnt called Xi Bi (Thin Brush) man for nothing. It was so small i had to use a mangifiying glass to see it.

NO KIDDING!

It was somthing like this _. Yeah. Like a line. But it was actually my name. He wrote it for me cause i kept awww-ing at his drawings with his Xi Bi.

His name is Toshio and he was really nice.
After XiBi man, we went to watch a Kimono fashion show, which is summed up by a cute old lady who was standing beside us.

"Mang Mang, Kia kia kia, Kia kee, kia loh. Mang mang eh. Pspt!"

Translations:
Slow slow, walk here walk there. Slow Slow. Psspt.

And she hobbled away.
It was so hilarious, the way she said it! I was in stitches.

4. I sat on a Sugoku Romantic Train to visit Arashiyama and the maple leaves (y'shoulda heard my brother. MAPLE LEAVES MAPLE LEAVES! I KNOW CAUSE I PLAY MAPLE!) were beautiful because it was autumn. The view was indescribably stunning. MAGNIFICENT, i tell you. Too mind blowing for words.

The red and orange and the astonishing bursts of the smorgasbord of colours. It was amazing. The paranomic view of Kyoto at the Kiyomizu Temple was spectacular too, but it was too cold to enjoy for long.

DAY 3, was enjoyably spent in HAKONE.

First the bullet train, which was actually rather boring and unbullet-like. Talk about unstimulating.

The rest of the day can only be described in overused, overrated superlatives.

FIRST UP: TSME (The Smelliest Mountian Ever), which is pretty much selfexplanatory. The itinerary describes it as i quote "Owakudani Boiling Valley- sulphurous boiling ponds, where steam from the boiling valley makes you feel that you are out of this world." OF PURE SMELLYNESS THAT IS.

Honestly. The pure putridity was formidable.

The smell was so foul i was retching inside my mouth. It was overwhelming, it was terrible, it was foul to the point of being the most gross thing id ever had the misfortune to sniff.

My brother managed to describe the noxious, sulphuric odour quite aptly. "Its smells like a thousand dog farts in here!"


I would add, cow farts, human who eat loads of beans farts and all a mix of all kinds of silent farts, cause they all say silent farts are the smelliest.

I can safely say it was the smelliest thing i have ever smelt in my whole life. AND IM NOT EXAGGERATING.

And then there were those people eating the eggs cooked in the horrible smelling boiling sulphur and they eat it for LONGEVITY.

The eggs are BLACK for goodness sake.
Its so gross.

THEN: It was Mount Fugi, where it was horribly cold, the bitter, cutting, icy, cold, and on the way up the mountain (it was pukey and winding) Valerie and Markie kept bugging me to play Hadugen and Jikohpah with them but i was so awful tired i suggested playing The Sleeping Game, which is my most successful and ingenious attempt at game creating yet.

At night we slept at an old school, rustic looking hotel with tatami mats and ate true traditional cultural JAPANESE NABE (steamboat) dinnerin out yukatas. The yukatas were for going tot he hotspring in the hotel.

Hot spring was awsome though NO CLOTHES ALLOWED.

Yeah. Nothing. Bare it all, baby.
Lucky the hotel was private and small and the only stranger in there was this lady with ENORMOUS boobs. Not that i actually looked!!!! I WOULDNT.
It was just so IN YOUR FACE yknow.

Yeah well. It was really nice, like soaking in a tub, only nicer.

DAY 4 IN TOKYOOOOOHHH.

Ah, it was full speeeeedaheadddddddddddd shopping today.
SHOP SHOP SHOP.


WE BUY LOADS AND LOADS OF FOODIES.

ANd goodies.

And did i say already? Dammit those Japanese Guy Students were irritatingly goodlooking in their school uniform.

Maybe its just just the hormone thingy, but i think its the uniform. Really.
Also we go to Aqua City Odaiba and theres so Fake Statue of Liberty there which cracked me up.
HAHAHA, like dudes, s'not that difficult to think up your own icon!

DAY 6 IN TOKYO DISNEY OUR LAST DAY

Im losing steam here, my heads spinning slightly from starring at the computer so long.

PERSONALITIES REALLY SHINE THROUGH IN DISNEY LAND.

Personality type 1: Mummy Rusher
My mom was rushing ALL OVER THE PLACE. WE HAVE TO COVER EVERYTHING was her motto. And a good one at that. The entrance cost a bomb and we had to get our money's worth, innit?

Map in hand, she hustled us all over and complained that our guide was being too slow and wasnt giving good tips and i quote

"When Jiu Jiu came here his guide told them excatcly how to go and which to take first and second before the queues started coming and got them to the place first thing in the morning, and then the gates opened and his guide said CHOING AH! And look at our guide! He says its okay to wait till everyone goes in first! Geeser!"

Then, of course, we have
Personality 2: Daddy-Lets-Have-A-Good-Time-And-Chillax
My dad, as you can see above, walked leisurely, defending our tourguide, and peering superitiously over my moms shoulder occasionally, saying ITS A HOLIDAY! TAKE IT EASY, DARLING.

Opposite attract, i guess?

Thanks to mum,
We sat on Western River railroad, Big Thunder Mountian twice, JUngle cruise, Peter Pan Flight, Its a Small World (which my mom said i took like 7 times in Anaheim when i was 4- NOSTALGIAAA!!), Minnie's House, Gadgets Go Coaster (easily the most fun ride ever), Space mountian, Buzz Lightyear's Astroblaster, and Mirco Adventure.

TOONTOWN WAS THE COOLEST.

And really, if you every go there, GADGETS GO COASTER IS THE BESTEST BESTEST RIDE EVER.
It was small and all, but of all the coasters, it was the most crazy fun.

Will miss Japan's toilet the most.
Say "Tolei wa doku deska" to see one if you visit there.
SAYONARA!!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Depression

I highly doubt im depressed.
But i reckon this is how it starts.

Sometimes you read the news with detatchment, and you see people getting killed, raped, bombed, injured, then we go eat a sandwich.

The nonchalance is undeniable, but justifiable. Cause, honestly, "we cant do anything".


The dememted, perverse terrorists who throw bombs around like its a DAMN GAME.

The whole world is in CRAZED ANARCHY.

(Gad im turning into a cynic)

I think we need a link, something to shock us into knowing that what is happening is real, and is tangible, is palpable.

My mom is stuck in Thailand where, i quote my grandfather "The stupid Somchai (Sheez man, alliteration. Poetic.) ah, just wont quit. I tell you, that guy is so useless. All the people come to the airport, i tell you, police NO USE. No use one. Need the army. Army better."

My grandfather is awfully worked up that my mom cant come back in time for our Japan trip tomorrow cause the Bankok airports are choke full with yellow protesters.

Geez. Im not really involved in Thailand politics, but as far as i can see, a man who cant even instill stable and reliable protection around the most important international transport hub in the whole country against HIS OWN PEOPLE is just so slightly screwed.

And the bombings and shootings in Mumbai, and all those terrorists who think their gonna die DAMN heros.

Not like my rantings gonna help anyone, i guess. Im just so frustrated with all that senselessness. SO FRUSTRATED. I dont usually feel like that, so i gather, this is either self-actualization or the start of depression.

While innocent people die out there, we sit here and morosely study binomials.


Sniff.

The worst thing about all this is that how my depression doesnt last. Like im so insincere and shallow and careless and unfeeling.

So now im depressed that im not depressed.
ARGH.

Controversy wins. Again.


FYI: I rolled over a boy's foot on my bike yesterday. I didnt know what to say other than blubber a pathetic sorry numerous times, while he stood there with a swelling toe, saying "its okay".

I wish i said something cool like "I'm sorry, but it was your fault cause you kept switching directions."

But the cool side of me tends to get grossly undermined by the aggressive pathetic side. Which is a bit of a paradox.

Its like, my cool side is king at first, then at the first sight of discrepency, calls for COUP COUP COUP rings through. And Cool is forcefully overthrown and Pathetic reigns.



All these while my sister talks to her Dog Called Bolt. I cant bear to call him Bolt cause its quite a desecration to the real Bolt. (The movie one with the fat cute hamster)

She goes on telling it to sit and stand and count and bark and howl and stand and sit and count and sit and stand.

A toy which responds.
Its like having a robot husband. Slightly perverse but gratifying because he obeys whatever you say and doesnt dirty the house.


I figure, added to my worldly depression, Coach calls me fat.

The days are looking bleak.

Onward.

Monday, November 24, 2008

ICYL 08 : ASPIRE TO INSPIRE



This post will be in green in memory of RGS- the people who painstakingly organised ICLY (International Convention for Youth Leaders).

I was there the WHOLE of last week, and it was the craziest fun i'd had in a looong time. The people there (namely the facils JUAN WENCEN, and the people- XINPING FUXIN) are slightly out of their minds, and its hard to remember that THEY are the brainiacs, some who have perversely high leadership positions.

And i met the scary tracker from Sports School (Habbibah- erm i think thats how you spell it. Maybe its Habbiba, or Hahbbibah or something.) who sprints like a scariest wind you've met.

Used to be inexplicably terrified of her when she groaned and huffed anf puffed at the starting line, but when we i her out of the arena, she looksed so unterrifing and un-intimidating! IT WAS LIKE SHE STRIPPED OFF HER AIR OF GLACIAL PROFESSIONALISM.

It was so cool.

SO AMAZING-LEE COOL.

So, the acronym LEAD right, and heres how it went down.

L for LEARN
(EH EH WE SAW MR THARMAN SHANMUGARATNUM gosh i hope thats how you spell it, these guys have uber long surnames OKAY. HES THE BIG SHOT IN CHARGE OF SINGAPORES MONAYE. HOHOHO. I SAWWWW HIM. HE MADE A SPEEEEECH.)

On the first day we learnt to embrace our strenghts. (mine being ENERGY) Damn, they should see me during training. Im like a immovable dead thingy. But yeah, my energy level is disgustingly high. Its no wonder i annoy my family alot.

Sadly, my sense of PURPOSE is at an all time low. Almost the lowest in my Samonte Teamie.

I truly wonder why.

E for EMBODY
E was for the 2nd day where we sat through numerous talks and more talks and a speeches and more stuff. Then we had World Cafe, which was quite cool, cause i met loads of Auzzies and Indians and Vietnamese and Hongkees and Indonesians.

CALL ME WORLDLY, BABY.

A for ADVOCATE
Yeah.
We went down town to give out water bottles to ADVOCATE a cause.

Its was fun, though Singaporeans are grossly paranoid.
One Aussie was like
"Hey man, the people here accepted the bread more readily than the bottled water! Its not like it is more likely that we poisoned the water than the bread right? You guys are an awfully suspicious lot!"

HEAR HEAR.

Dude, man. We hear stories of rapists and how NOTHING IN THIS WORLD IS FREE AH, GIRL SO DONT ANYHOW ACCEPT THINGS AH. So its built into out little Singaporeany systems. Its a culture.

tsk.

D for DARE

DARE TO SPEAK OUT.
DARE TO DREAM.

Yeah. More speeches.
Inspiring talks.


Also had a revalation that Xin Ping is, undoubtly the unchallenged, BIGGEST, mighiest, MOST UNBEATABLE camwhore in the whole world. Honestly.



ICYL DA BOMB.

And i keep cutting my hair cause it always sticks out.

I reckon its never gonna grow out to its full, elegant glory ever again becasue of my obsession with chopping the parts of my hair that stick on bad hair days.

I am SO intolerant. GAH.

I've cut it 5 times since the first hairchop.
5!!

Woe is me. Hair.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

BOYS BOYS ALL AROUND

My brothers friends are awfully cute.
Theres this kid called Jun Zheng, and he had scrawled on the present

:Marcus!

Best Friends!
Today we have lots of fun because i brought 2 things!
Have good results next year and i hope we will be best friends forever!


And in that horribly adorable kiddish penning too.
It was too much for me to take.

Im not much of a squealer, but that had me over the edge. It was so gay!


I was running around insanely, getting the goodie bags for Samuel and the food (chicken wings, christmas tree shaped nuggets, fried rice, beans ect) down to the tables.

And honestly, getting a bunch of eight year olds to play a game of Spoon and Egg is like trying to get a moneky to lay eggs.
IMPOSSIBLE.

In the end, the game we thought the stupidest (namely throwing marbles into the wading pool and shouting GO GET EM!) was without a doubt the crowd favourite.

Namely because we only managed to play that one game. To think we had more than 15 games all lined up! Geez, all that wasted effort.

All they were interested was brainless, skill-less games like spraying each other down with water guns yelling IM JAMES BOND and diving in the pool to find marbles.


But it was sorta worth the effort cause my bro really enjoyed himself, and it was nice to see him all mad and wet and happy with my slightly crazed friends. (13 of them! And 5 of them brought their whole families along! I MEAN SERIOUSLY. Mom, dad, sister, 2 brothers, 2 maids! MAN.)


And plus, invest was a really hoot!

The 3 guys who me and Cleo guided round the school were quite cool, and one of them was just HILARIOUS. Both of us (Cleonme) were laughing our asses off at his sudden quirky comments.


AND PLUS.
I reckon our school looks really, amazingly nice around 730-ish. I was ushering for PMT and Celine taught me how to meditate while watching the sunset.

So in the middle of the passageway, me and Celine were doing strange things like balancing on a leg and breathing disturbingly loud.


AND I THINK:

STUPID CUPID WAS THE AWESOMEST SHIT EVER!
You guys are amazing. Weiqing, Shereen, Cath, Gerry, Becky, Celine and all the rest of them. AMAZING I TELL YOU.

I was so riveted by them i couldnt even move.

Weiqing, you made a crazy suave boy, really!
HAD ME SWOONING.

AND HAHAHA, SHEEREEN TOTALLY FITTED HER PART. The boy crazy, squealing, starrstruck, lovesick teen-age-er. HAHAHAH.

Catheleen was UNBELIEVABLY funny as a pregnant woman. I guffawed so loudly when she said her lines, everyone turned to look, and Nats voice suddenly materialised in my head "You laugh like a horse Amanda. GROSS."


What?
Horses are cool. Lor.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Caught In The Moment

Its pouring outside.
I love the rain, i love it i adore it i relish in it i dance in it. I LOVE IT.

I was prancing around the house, singing at the top of my lungs

"LET THE RAIN FALL DOWN
(eh shuddap la)
AND WAKE-AH MY DREAMS
LET IT WASH AWAY
(Can you please shut up)
MY SANITY!"

Geezer. Cant a girl sing without protestations from everyone anymore? I reckon its cause i was singing the bolded parts extremely loud. But "SHUT UP LA JIE JIE" is abit HARSH doncha think?

Its coming down in sheets and sheets, the rain.

SHEETS.

I realise i have to take off my watch to blog comfortably. (So it wont keep rubbing on my wrist which hurts like crap by the way.)


Since we're on the subject, i'll tell you about how Frann rubbed her thigh against me. (I know, oh-my-gosh) . We were standing in the rain under a tiny green umbrella, and i was pressed up against the wall with her shoving closer and closer to me, flattening me against the swimming pool partition in her heated frenzy.

HAHAHAA.


This almost sounds like some homoporn. But whoops, sorry you sickos, all we have here is a poor victimised umbrella owner, and a alarmingly inflexible water-phobic who has chronic ombrophobia but has NO UMBRELLA.

Though, of course, we cant say for sure.

HOHOHO.

I also had a revelation while i was showering.

ALL MY FRIENDS ARE RELATIVELY ATTRACTIVE-ISH.

My friends (in no order of merit whatsoever),

CARA. Shes pretty in the skinny, cute and bright-eyed way. She awfully nice and crazy, and talks wayyy to much. (wahseh, if she sees this i'll never hear the end of it)

LOOLOO. Yeah, shes fascinatingly goodlooking. (With the eyes and all). Thus, her obsession with taking pictures of herself with other peoples phones and wallpapering becomes acceptable because she actually looks nice. (I am so going to regret this. But since im going down as a asskisser, might as well do it well. And truthfully.)

Then we have FRAN-THE-PERV, whos rather handsome (no kidding! In those classics they call pretty women handsome.) and sporty-chick appealing.

BOBS, who is extremely crazy cute because she laughs so much. Shes gonna lead a long, happy life, i tell you. Break lots of hearts too, cause they say boys love girls who laugh alot.

NAT (small things come in small packages, buddy), who is awesomely pretty even though she doesnt believe me. She thinks her face is round like a mooncake but its not. Not unlike CLEO who is just-sort-of-gorgeous, and sings with that sore-throaty voice which is so stunningly nice.

And VANES whos sweet and un-singaporeish looking, with the symmetrical features (YEAH REALLY VANES, I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOUR FACE WAS AWFULLY SYMMETRICAL).

DIONNE has nice eyes. And her crazy hair makes that kind of unique pretty-ness unrivaled. (Sniff. She called me the EHPEETOEMEE of grossness too. Im too nice.)

And WEIQING!! shes so crazy mama, and unconventionally sassy-pretty ish.


And then theres CHUMMY whos just amazing cool and VERON whos becoming prettier every week (i dunno why. I figure its the eyes too.) and BELBEL and VAL who are my longest time buddies other than DEARDEAR who is totally angmoh alluring and NAO who is downright graeceful. They are most certianly attractive.




But then, i realise that ALL of them are really attractive because, mostly, of their personality. LOO is hilarious most of the time and shes a great buddy, and CARH is downright endearing. BOBS laughs too much, and is mostly accepting and listens really well. She doesnt gossip and doesnt really judge people. FRAN really cares for her friends. (Most of the time, anyway) And NAT is caring-and hysterical most of the time!

Everyone one of them is beautiful, on the outside, but mostly on the inside.

I cant say looks dont matter in this material world.

Its probably one of the most important things in fact, in this superficial and fast moving culture we have. (HAHA, first impressions do matter a whole lot, yknow)

But when we know the culture is wrong, dont follow it.

God only wants whats inside anyway.
He gives hardly a pizz for what you look like on the outside.

Culture thought talking to yourself in public was synonymous to insanity, but its now PROVEN that people who talk to themselves in their head or outloud are MORE INTELLIGENT and more INSIGHTFUL and REFLECTIVE, because its like writing a diary in your head.

HAHAH YA LOSERS IN THE BUS WHO GAVE ME FUNNY LOOKS WHEN I WAS MUMBLING SOMETHING TO MYSELF IN THE BUS!

IM SMARTER THAN YOU!


Sometimes popular culture is wrong.
We just have to be brave enough to see it.



REQUESTING:
The History Boys DVD. Anyone?

Sunday, November 09, 2008

HANGOVER

Midnight cycling is awfully strenuous.

My goodness, is it disgustingly time consuming. SO it says its only from 12pm-6am, but HA. They dont tell you that the next day is totally ruined and you gotta walk around yawning like some idiot who has Oxygen-Deficiency-Disease.

Honestly man, i was so tired in the morning (YEAH WHO WOULDNT IF YOU HAD A FLEETING 3 HOURS OF SLEEP?) that the whole place was spinning so vigorously i fell to the ground after i rolled off my bed.

I can truly say i never felt like that before.

The whole place was spinning so quickly, and i had this undesirable urge to puke my guts out. Gosh, it was like every movement made the place go round and round like it used to when we were kids and would spin on the spot like retards and then plonk on the ground and laugh hysterically as the place spun.

Church was gonna start in 20 minutes so i had 5 minutes to un-tipsyfy myself, yelled my parents (not excactly in those terms) from outside. DAMN.

I tried my best, i did.
My my crappy body was totally crashing on me. I had hit the end of the health spectrum. My body was at its limits.It was shutting down.

Even as i sqautted at the toilet bowl side my head spun and spun and i knew, at that moment, i could not make it to church in time.

(I went for evening mass by myself BAH)


But it was worth the pain, midnight cycling.
And if you could felt felt what I FELT, MAN would you know how worth it it was.

Really.
The calmness and wind in your face feeling is something you aint gonna feel in the day.

Ohboy. I gotta go again someday when i can sleep through the next day. Except i'll probably get like, jetlagged and stuff.


We The Cambodians.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

DIVIDE AND CONQUER

People all over the Free World are voting. The whole heady situation is becoming so big. And its not just because of Lehman/Lynch business either, everyone was so hung up on the whole thing long before the economy decided to screw all the bigshots around.

Honestly. I also think Singaporeans are so much more engaged in foreign politics rather than domestic affairs.

In Tuiton Yesterday
Ms Eu : I guess you guys arent really interested in politics. BAHYOU.

R-The-Brilliant: Im not actually remotely intrigued by DOMESTIC politics. However, i am incredibly informed with foreign matters-of-state.

(This coming from a Secondary 1 Nanyang Genius who probably has an IQ comparable to Stephen Hawkings, the paralysed man who wrote books by blinking his eyes.)


I must say so myself, Obama and McCain make more interesting news compared to Lee Hsien Loong and his party. I hardly presume a black/ex-beauty-queen-who-can-see-Russia-from-Alaska will suddenly sweep into the Singapore Goverment picture any time soon.

Until then, Singapore will have to be content with our seemingly humdrum state of governmental affairs.


I not really sure who i want to win anymore.

He (Obama) has promised that "the first thing I'd do as President is sign the Freedom of Choice Act" (known as FOCA). This proposed legislation would create a federally guaranteed "fundamental right" to abortion through all nine months of pregnancy, including, as Cardinal Justin Rigali of Philadelphia has noted in a statement condemning the proposed Act, "a right to abort a fully developed child in the final weeks for undefined 'health' reasons."

Damn it.
The fact that i am completely against abortion, makes me ONE KIND OF hypocritical since i like Obama's view of almost everything else and practically salivate when he makes those awe-inspiringly rousing speeches with his sexy, charismatic, chocolate self.

Plus, the fact that a woman who has yet to prove that she has sharp intellect and a firm grasp of the sophisicated economy-polictics (now even more so) behind that beauty queen homebody charm might become President and Commander in Chief of America's Armed Forces FREAKS ME OUT.

I dont know which is ultimately scarier, the fact that Obama wants to further liberalise the already broad-minded stance toward abortion in America, or Palin becoming the leader of the free world should calamity befall McCain.

BAH POLITICS.

Im not even living in America. See what i mean?

We are such busybodeees.





HOHOHOHO.
Divide and Conquer.

It has a certain ring to it, innit?

I always thought it was all about warfare, like how the troops gotta DIVIDE themseleves then conquer. Its so ironic its cool.



I escorted the Guest of Honour around our school yesterday, and hes called Dr Cheah. I was so nervous because i was afraid i'd forget his name and call him, like Dr Dolittle or something (because i was slightly hysterical at meeting a someone who actually used the salutation 'Dr'.)

I was awfully excited and i borrowed by mom's black courtshoes )with heels) because they were black and had awesome looking straps. I figured if i was going to make a good impression, i would do it looking pretty.

And pretty i did look.
Hohohoh.

In the end, because i kept repeating to myself "Its Cheah, just think Cheer. Call him Cheer! Haha, now i wont forget.", i ended up saying Mr Cheah.

WHICH WAS EVEN WORSE.

Dr Cheah was really nice, though.
Hes so gentle and nice, and personable. He really listens to people, and is scarily assertive in that quiet, uncondecencing way of his.

He askes me what i wanted to do when i grew up, and i told him Journalist, and unlike other people who would either say hey cool, and move on or scoff and mock me with the downsides of jounalism (no stability, always travelling, ect), he actually encouraged me and told me that he was proud of my dream.

(I was so touched i nearly cried. HELLO, the guy barely knows ME! Plus i called him Mr Cheah.)

My thank you speech when i become a renowned Natgeo Photojounalist who has won numerous awards will go something like:

THANK YOU DR CHEAH, ROCK ON!
AND TO ALL THOSE SUCKERS WHO TOLD ME I COULDNT,

IN YOUR FACE!


Okay, that was obscene.


But a girl can dream.

And while im at it (dreaming) i wanna marry TI, and he'll say

"Hey, youre way too cute to be working here"

and treat me special and nice,

and tell me "BABY, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE, BABY YOU CAN GO WHEREVER YOU LIKE."