Tuesday, December 04, 2007

I've a theory.

Making every job sound sexy and interesting is not that hard. All you need is, quote Spongebob

Imaaaaa-gination..

SO, your a surgent right?
Your job is ripping people's clothes apart and groping them inside. Its a matter of life and death. Its a scary job, both spine-tingling and shivery, you say.

Interesting? Sexy? Fun? You have it all.
Lie i do not.

SO, you say. Im a rubbish trucker.
Your job is rummaging through people's free stuff. You can have whatever you want! Its bammin FOC, yo. Like, you get to drive a cool truck around for MONEY, and everyone makes way for you. DARN WIDE BERTH. And they all talk about you when you drive past.

Who cares what they say, right? I mean youre like ah CELEBRITY, you say. Whats not to like? Plus, you get paid. Its glam as anything.

But what if im a boring old salesgirl?
Oh, then you've got the best of it all. Esp if youre in those top-shops.

Smiling, watching, drooling at hot men. Going around trying on clothes all day. Getting discounts you get paid for gettin. Telling people they look absolutely DASHING and getting your royal cronies to agree till they succumb. Prance around and make people uncomfortable by sticking to them, when they say "just looking".

Telling them "Just looking? For what? A top? bottom? Jeans? Any preferences? I can help. Which size are you?"

Push people around and tell them they look not-as-nice-as-if-they-were-wearing-this. And give them something which has a pricetag longer than the garment itself. Then when someone buys something, throw a party and feel the satisfaction drub into your body.

HOORAY FOR GLAMOUROUS JOBS!

Yeah, but thats just the Showing Off About Your Job part. The real job is probably shitty. Unless you're job is like Being Faithful to Your Tycoon Husband While You Stay at Home and Look Attractive.

Kudos to those lucky women.
Yeah well, i am in the middle of a What Do You Wanna Be Next Time big scale project, so im a little hung up on jobs, but dont mind me.

Ciao, buddies.
Later.

YOU'LL ALWAYS
BE MY THUNDER
SO BRING ON THE RAIN
-Thunder. Boys Like Girls.

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